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Experts explain why some men have aggressive attitudes after being rejected

Unfortunately, cases of women who have been physically or verbally assaulted by men are not uncommon. In some situations this happens after the individual has been rejected, such as, for example, businessman Thiago Brennand who pushed a woman at a gym at Shopping Iguatemi (SP) and Kzam Matos Martins, 30, who was investigated for being suspected of attacking eight women in Manaus (AM), after they refused to maintain affective relationships with him.

IstoÉ spoke with two experts to find out the reasons why some men have these aggressive attitudes.

Neuroscientist Julia Niza explains that for an individual to come to blows against a woman there are two factors: “The first is the way his mind, especially his subconscious, was built from childhood. The second reason is the creation of this subject”.

“Our brain produces biochemicals that directly influence our organism and, consequently, will also influence behavior. The point is that it depends on the information that has been stored in the subconscious since childhood. Through them some men will create behavioral patterns and believe that that is the correct way to react. It’s as if, inside his head, what he’s doing isn’t wrong”, he adds.

Still on the question of the way that man was educated, the specialist in Human Development Branca Barão associates aggression with our sexist culture, even though we have already evolved in some aspects. “The man in a macho culture has more power, rights and space than a woman. Of course this messes with the individual’s head. I see that, even today, some girls are raised to be delicate, polite, careful and help with household chores. While some boys are sitting on the couch playing video games. That’s why they understand that women exist to satisfy their desires.”

“A child who doesn’t learn to have limits and only has his yes respected can become an adult who invades the other’s space. So when a woman says she doesn’t want to have sex with that man anymore, it becomes a trigger for a violent reaction.”

In some cases, the aggressive environment in which that man was raised can also influence his behavior. “If he had a father who was violent in some way towards his mother, it can help create patterns in his mind. So he often has aggressive behavior because of breaking patterns. It is not something external, but from within him that, at that moment, he is putting out. This is something serious that needs to be analyzed”, informs the neuroscientist.

Another point that can contribute to this is trauma. “If that individual has past traumas, fears or insecurities, they will unfortunately react negatively. In the case of a rejected man, there may be a psychological issue that needs to be addressed. He has some guilt, fear or insecurity and rejection is the trigger for an aggressive reaction”, adds Julia Niza.

It is worth mentioning that, if there is a psychological issue, each occurrence must be analyzed by a competent professional.

However, for the specialist in Human Development, it is also essential to know how to deal with this rejection. “It’s natural to feel angry or frustrated when you hear no. But not knowing how to react and, as a result, attacking another human being means that there is an issue to be addressed, which is not necessarily a disease. Sometimes it can be difficult to create emotional maturity, which is also not easy.”

However, if you have a psychological problem, neuroscientist Julia Niza says it is possible to correct this aggressive behavior. But for that, the man identify it and assume that it needs help. “We work in neuroscience with the mental reprogramming side, which would be the re-signification of mental patterns in order to change the behavioral ones later on. There are treatments that can be performed to work on these cases of aggression”, she concludes.

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